Boris, the Boa Constrictor

A bedtime story for the children of Julian Assange

• TRIGGER ALERT — don’t read this if you squirm at the thought of a journalist being murdered in a UK prison while the world bystands.

First draft Boris, Dec. 16, 2019/ Revised Aug. 10, 2020

Once upon a time there was a jovial, loud and awkwardly charming man who lived at a house called Number 10. His name is Boris. Boris was the life of the party until he got sick with Covid19 and then all of the people who thought he was a good guy realized that he was not. He was a pretender. An imposter. Someone who acts like he cares about people getting sick from COVID, or don’t have homes to live in, or people with handicaps or people stuck in prison when they didn’t do anything wrong — but he does not care. Boris is the boss of a country called Britain.

So what, you might wonder, happened to Boris to make him change from a good person to a bully? He got a new friends named Donald and Mike. They made a deal. That deal changed Boris’ mind about a lot of things. Boris forgot about times in the past when people got bullied, killed, hurt-on-purpose (it’s called torture) and robbed. Donald and Mike taught Boris that it pays to be mean and awful and cruel and tricky. This is Mike with Boris.

This is Boris with Donald.

When Boris was younger, he monkeyed around on large equipment had a hearty laugh and used to write things in the news. He used to be a journalist. He went on TV and the internet to show off. Later on, he joined a contest to be the boss of Britain and he won. Ever since then though, he’s started to be meaner and meaner. Or should I say, more mean?

Once, he was a funny monkey. Now he is a boa constrictor snake.

He’s the Boa Constrictor of Human Rights. He’s dangerous now. He’s not funny.

Boris is squeezing the life out of your dad Julian Assange who is in a huge, dirty jail with lots of gates and security guards even though he is the good guy and Boris is the bad guy.

Boris is squeezing the life out of press freedom, human rights and human decency.

It’s too bad, because your daddy may die, for no good reason, and then other good guys and ladies like your dad may wind up in stinky old jails to die.

Unfortunately, the end of the story isn’t ready to tell you right now. We are coming to the end but we aren’t there yet. We hope it’s a happy ending when the good guys win and the bad guys go to jail, like what is supposed to happen. The villains go to jail and the heros get to visit with friends, make speeches, go on the Internet and help other people to be good and kind.

Boris had a baby this year with his partner Carrie. He’s a dad. I’m pretty sure he won’t want to read this story to his son for story time though.

The moral of the story:

The world needs a snake charmer, mystic and miracle worker. Boris the Boa Constrictor needs to go into a zoo and should not be the boss of Britain anymore.

The Almost-End

Your daddy, Julian Assange, will be free. Soon. You will get to hug him with all the muscles in your arms. Together we will get him back for you, your Mum Stella, your family members and our Global family.

Come home soon Daddy. We want you back.